Wow, reading my past posts have really made me realize how much I changed and grown. I didn't realize how depressed I was which is why I was possibly making Florida miserable for myself. So since the last post about being alone and such I came to realize that I was never alone. I have my true friends here with me and a friend up north that were never gone. I had God that had to throw a brick at me for me to let him take over and tell me (and for me to actually believe Him) that everything was going to be okay. He has a different path for me to take previous to the one before where I thought He wanted me to go.
I had come to the point in my life where I thought I was losing everything. Obviously if you have been reading. Anyways, I left the comfort of my home state and town and was forced against my will to move to Florida. At that time I had amazing friends, who never talk to me know, funny how distance and time will do that to you on more the one occasion. I had a boyfriend who I thought was the one for me. We never had any problems till I moved and I guess the true colors came out. Although he did a lot for me and cared or seemed to care that is when we were together it was like the distance was an excuse of not to care or show it anyways. I do admit that I had very limited time. With working crazy hours and trying to make the best of things our communication skills toward one another fell (life lesson number 1: always have communication, no matter the topic or situation or the distance between two hearts). As time went by with mistakes on both parts we fell apart completely and my world came crashing down, or so I thought at the time.
Now a lot of time has passed by and a lot of has changed. After losing all that I knew, or my comfort blanket if you will, I had to start over. So I went to my friend's church, suppose to be a one time visit and I've been going ever since. Funny how things like that happen. See God does have a sense of humor and I'll more into that later. After attending this church and immediately feeling an impact I felt like I was getting back on my feet. So here I was still single but having fun with friends, getting back into school, working two jobs with crazy hours, and finding out who I am all over again.
Okay, on to the jobs. So I have been really freaking stressed and never having any time for myself. I work at starbucks on the overnights three days a week and then at olive garden about five to six days a week which means no days off unless that one day both fell on the same day....never happened. So I became so stressed that I was blinded to it i think. I didn't realize what I was putting my body through. About four months of arguing with the managers to get my schedule right so that the hours didn't overlap starbucks or school which was impossible. I think these people had brains the size of a peanut and I'm not even joking. I wrote out my schedule with every available time, where I would be and the time I would need to be to the next place. When you think about it they only needed to be cautious about three days of the week but they seemed to mess that up every time and I ended up running around trying to get to the next place on time. After doing that for quite some time it caught up to me. Apparently I wasn't smiling at a table during one of these chaotic moments and that cost me my job. Now I did have a major break down. It seemed like when everything was getting good BOOM something is thrown at you and you become once more a chicken with its head cut off....seeing the sense of humor in God huh? Now luckily my starbucks team is amazing and fully understands. I was immediately moved to full time which will pay the bills and that is it. No fun but I figured fun can come later in life when I'm not in school and having to do crazy schedules. Now to get me through this break down I was dealing with, I had an amazing friend and an amazing boyfriend. YES I said it a boyfriend, a new boyfriend....sigh...more about that in a sec. So anyways I was fired from yet another comfort blanket. One thing I realized from having not worked as a server with crabby, nothing is good enough for me people, I realized how less stress I am. I never realized how stressful that job was till I didn't have it anymore. But it feels great. Now I have time to update this thing and time to focus on school.
Okay boyfriend time....wow is all I have to say. Okay this really should be a new post but oh well just go get a snack maybe something to drink and then come back and finish this part....
oh your back ok. So this guy is so amazing let me tell you. Like I thought I knew what love felt like before but wow did he prove that wrong. So it all started maybe five months ago or so during my ups and down with the previous break up and I got to the point that I was like whatever I quit you win God. I was done with relationships. I told myself no more just get yourself through school and go from there. Ok so anyways like I said before about working at Starbucks, I do the over nights and let me tell you they are not that exciting unless you work with right people which I have an awesome team and you get your favorite customers coming through. Doing the over nights we get a lot of cops trying to stay awake as they keep us safe, college kids who are avoiding homework (that was me at one point), drunks, creepy taxi drivers that are like mid forties and think they have a chance with twenty year olds, and then the face you never forget and the voice that you know instantly when you hear it. So this guy would come in around the same time every day well at least on the days....well nights that I worked. He instantly became my favorite customer, not only is he attractive but no matter what time it was he always had a smile on his face and it was an addicting smile. The first night he left my window I was like wow he is so nice. I never really thought about hey maybe him and I will date. I mean I was sure he had a girlfriend. I was positive he wasn't married...yes I looked at his left ring finger that first night...I had to know if there was a small chance...come on, what girl doesn't do that. So each time he came through I would strike a small conversation and interestingly enough he seemed to be interested in the convos. So I had to make a move. I didn't want to jump out and say hey I like you lets see where this can go. I thought I was dropping hints that i was interested. Turns out that he just thought I was being nice. When you think about it when have you gone to starbucks and a rude mean barista is serving you. Nope...they give us crack to be all chirpy no matter what time of the night or day it is. Now you know the secret, Umm just don't tell anyone I told you. So christmas comes around and I was like hmm...maybe I should this guy a card. That way he could be like maybe she likes me and then if he wasn't interested he could be like aww that was a really nice. So finally after about four months of drive thru window, five minute conversations and a couple of weeks of not seeing my favorite grande nonfat with whip toffee nut latte customer I was like alright whatever I scared him away back to not trying again and just being done with guys and relationships. Now this is the part that you see Gods sense of humor again. I get a letter when I went to work from him with his number. Apparently he was switched to days which explained the absence of him. So I called again thinking wow he really is interested in me. So after texting for a little bit we went on a date and it was amazing not weird at all and now I am so happy to call him my boyfriend. I have to say sorry to all those single girls out there I got the last great guy sorry! So I have never been this happy in my life and things are getting better. I'm so excited to see what lies ahead. well I think i bored you long enough and now you have an update and can see that I am fine. I didn't decide that I should drop off the face of the earth. Well until next time....take care
Much Love
-Jamie-
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